Voicemails I'll Never Return

Voicemail:
"I put in a ticket for this issue last night and I haven't heard from you yet. What is the status?"

How I'd likely respond:
The status is: I HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. That's why you haven't heard from me.

~~~

 Voicemail:

"Did you get the email I just sent you?"

How I'd likely respond:
You sent it, didn't you? Obviously I don't have answer for you yet or I would have replied to that email.

~~~

 Voicemail:
"YOU NEED TO GET ME ACCESS TO THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

How I'd likely respond:
You need to calm the heck down before I'll even THINK about helping you.

~~~

 Voicemail:
"call me back."

How I'd likely respond:
With no reference, I have no idea where this should go in my list of priorities, so it automatically goes to the bottom.

~~~

 Voicemail:
"I didn't know if I should call you or the Help Desk..."

How I'd likely respond:
CALL THE HELP DESK THAT'S WHY THEY EXIST OMG

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